Getting Better

What have I been doing lately, you all ask? (By all I mean the two people that read this blog.) Not a whole hell of a lot. This week, I have a total of two classes, one on Tuesday and one on Thursday, interspersed flawlessly so I can’t leave town. The transition from activity and friends to no activity and no friends is always hard for me to make. I had some ETA friends in town for the past few weeks and was in Bali visiting Hillary. But, I’ve hit a dry spell and the first few days I did a lot of moping. Thought about all the things I could be doing. Preparing for the future, looking for jobs, checking my finances, lesson planning (for classes I may not teach…but still it would be an activity). Instead, I just felt sorry for myself and sat around acutely aware of my hunger but unwilling to go across the street to the angkringan and get some fucking fried tempe. Well, I finally got some after a few hours of deliberation and felt better.

I have slowly been accomplishing more, even only small things, things that do make me feel more sane. Yesterday, I went to the gym and worked out for a long time and my back felt so much better. I also walked to the photo store and picked up some photos of my students in their creative costumes from midterms. And, I stopped at the grocery store and bought some junk food along with some delicious fruit to make me even happier. One of my favorite activities is watching one of my bootleg, already viewed-about-5-times movies while peeling and eating pounds of dukuh (maybe my favorite fruit ever).

I called my batik teacher and finally started getting lessons. He came over and explained some dye theory to me. I am attempting to make silk scarves. I also cleaned my house because although I appreciate the cleaning the guards do, it is quite cursory.

So, I am feeling better. My birthday is coming up and I am having a celebration on Saturday. Hopefully, I will know how to bounce back quicker when the last guest has gone home.

I admit I still obsessively check my cell phone for new messages every 30 seconds but that may never change even when I am otherwise entertained and totally happy.