Reasons to Come Visit Me in Indonesia

1) Creambaths…heavenly.

2) Lippo Bank has a ping-pong table set up right by the ATMS. After withdrawing money, you and the bored guards can play your hearts out.

3) You may see men in one becak, one squatting on the front and happily laughing hello, just like I did the other day.

4) There is a pimped-out becak for sale near my house and I don’t quite have the money for it…we could be rich, bitches!

5) You can clean your dishes with a sock in my kitchen. The sponge was mysteriously and oddly replaced.

6) My guards sing and dance. Today it was Javanese gamalan, tomorrow it may be The Beatles.

7) You can meet the music teacher who likes to talk about “two mountains” in English class. You can meet everyone else in the class who think this is appropriate English class fodder.